April came in full of gentle spring sun,
lighting up and warming my spirit after a heavy winter.
I haven’t shared much here about what felt heavy,
but I can say this—
I am thankful for every day I wake up
and don’t allow the darkness to fully consume me.
Every day, I listen to my truth
and trust my body and myself a little more.
Because for so long,
my life has been run by other people.
And April gave me a starting point
for hoping again.
After being held by some incredibly kind
and supportive souls—
who I am forever grateful for—
I allowed myself to start dreaming,
to start creating.
I found an energy I hadn’t felt in a long time.
I found a place inside of me
that I could surrender to
and create from.
What an absolute blessing that is.
April was filled with sun-kissed days
and drizzly spring showers.
And when the knocks came—
the ones that would have knocked me off my feet before—
I felt the wobble of the old,
but it didn’t topple me this time.
The trust I built with myself over winter,
slowly and messily,
really shone through this month.
And now, as a new month approaches,
the unknown doesn’t rattle me like it used to.
Instead of searching and panicking,
clinging to anything I can—
I cry.
I let it out.
And then I recognise the old fear
moving through me.
I hold myself.
I see that my body isn’t shaking like it used to.
My mind isn’t racing.
And the pit of dread in my stomach
passes—easily.
And I feel so incredibly grateful.
Because now, life feels hopeful.
Awe and wonder have returned.
And I have learnt to trust—
not only myself,
but the greater forces that be.
The Nature Within 